insecurities.
ayee finally created a blog after contemplating for ages ! to be honest i hope no one from my school finds this blog because im not sure how im gonna face anyone if anyone actually reads this haha .
basically , i have a habit of bottling up everything i feel inside of me . i guess i wont be able to truly trust anyone THAT much to share every single thing i feel . maybe its my nature to be this way or maybe im just afraid of what people might think of me if they knew what i was really thinking or feeling . i just have this little voice at the back of my mind telling me to keep my thoughts to myself . but hey ! i have a blog now !! meaning i can say anything i want without a care in the world yay .
its a really a rainy and gloomy wednesday afternoon and i think its the weather that motivated me to start this HAHA.
okay moving on to the actual stuff ;
ok so i liked / like this guy . (thats how it all begins doesnt it) he is the first guy i actually fell really hard for . i subconciously started liking him from the first day we knew each other . to explain how it all started would be a bit too long hahaha. how would i describe him . okay firstly i wouldnt call him the average hot guy at school . i wouldnt call him handsome. i wouldnt call him the best . but love blinds people doesnt it ? maybe i am a little too young to be thinking about love but i daresay its more than a friendship on my side . maybe it was too much wishful thinking on my side ( yes thats where i got the inspiration for my blog hehe ) but i really and sincerely thought he was different . back in 2013 when we first met , he was a whole lot nicer towards me . i guess that was what made me fall for him .
but now flash foward , its already nearing the end of 2014 . i start to notice that hey , im not the only girl that he is close to . what made me think that way in the first place ?? now im just learning to give up probably . i have come to the realization that im not really that great . im not good enough for him . never have , and never will be . after all , its always the crushing news flash that life can be a bitch and not everything goes how you want it to be that hurts , right ?
